By Aimee Oliveri (Clinical Psychologist)
In the wake of the Bondi stabbings, it’s natural to experience a variety of emotions and reactions. During such times, it’s crucial to prioritise our mental well-being. In this blog post, Clinical Psychologist Aimee Oliveri talks practical tips and advice to help navigate the emotional aftermath, particularly for those with children.
Understand What to Expect and When to Seek Help
First, it’s helpful to know that experiencing a range of emotions including shock, sadness, anger, fear and more, is normal. Heightened alertness, feeling tense and weary or distrusting of others, especially in crowded places, are also natural reactions and typically subside as time passes.
However, if feelings of distress or fear persist and start to interfere with daily life—such as repeated difficulty leaving the house or avoiding public spaces—it’s crucial to seek professional support. This is particularly vital if the distress leads to thoughts of self-harm, suicide, or harming others.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 000.
If you are looking for crisis support or short-term counselling, there are crisis lines available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
See link here for crisis numbers: https://www.health.nsw.gov.au/mentalhealth/Pages/crisis-lines.aspx
Engage in Active Coping Strategies
Engaging in active coping strategies can greatly support mental health and prevent decline.
During this time, it’s important to show kindness to both ourselves and others. Give yourself permission to step back, stay indoors, relax, and focus on less demanding activities.
Incorporating activities that promote well-being, such as physical exercise, hobbies, and relaxation techniques like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or meditation, can also be beneficial.
Limit Media Consumption
While it’s understandable to feel drawn to watching video footage, reading posts, and listening to news updates, excessive exposure to media coverage can become overwhelming and worsen feelings of anxiety or distress. If you find that media consumption is causing distress for yourself or others, it’s important to proactively manage and limit your engagement with it.
Reach Out and Connect
During challenging times, the value of social support cannot be overstated. Reach out to your loved ones, check in on each other, and express care and affection. Connecting with others can alleviate feelings of isolation and provide a supportive environment for sharing emotions and reducing stress.
Those currently most impacted by the Bondi stabbings may include victims of the attacks, residents in the Bondi area, mothers, women, children, parents, men, individuals living with mental illness, and those working in the public services.
Maintain Routine and Structure
Maintaining consistency in your daily routines can provide a sense of normalcy and predictability, offering comfort during uncertain times. This might involve sticking to regular meal times, sleep schedules, and other daily activities.
Discuss the Event with Care
When discussing sensitive topics, it’s crucial to approach the conversation with sensitivity:
- Avoid using judgmental language, placing blame, or making assumptions.
- Try not to dwell on the topic for an extended period.
- Be gentle and considerate of others’ readiness to talk. It can be helpful to check in
with someone beforehand to gauge their readiness.
- Be mindful of who else is present and listening. The topic of conversation might
unknowingly cause distress or anxiety to others.
How to Talk to Children
It can be challenging to know how to talk to children about traumatic events. The reality is they will hear about it, so it’s best to find a balance between shielding them and providing a space where they can talk about it and ask questions. Here’s how you can approach these discussions:
1. Find Out What They Know: Start by asking what they’ve already heard. Children often
have bits and pieces of information, and it’s important to understand their perspective
first.
2. Use Age-Appropriate Language: Explain the situation using simple, clear language that
is appropriate for the child’s age. Avoid graphic details and focus on the basic facts. For
example, instead of saying ‘stabbed’, you can say ‘hurt’ or ‘harmed’. It’s also okay to say,
“I don’t know” if there’s something you can’t answer.
3. Reassure Their Safety: Children may feel threatened or scared after hearing about violent
events. Assure them of their safety and explain the steps that are being taken by adults
(like police and community leaders) to keep everyone safe.
4. Highlight the Helpers: Emphasise the role of first responders and community helpers
who come forward to assist in such situations. This can help reduce fear and instil a sense
of safety and community spirit.
5. Encourage Questions: Allow children to ask questions and express their feelings. They
might have worries or misconceptions that need addressing. Be patient and listen to their
concerns.
Pay Tribute
Finding a way to show solidarity and support for those affected can be comforting and can assist in processing community grief. Consider gestures such as leaving flowers, writing letters, a moment of silence, or organising a memorial in whatever way feels fitting for you or your family.
Additionally, you can now pay your respects online using the Bondi junction condolence book:
Remember, support is available, and it’s okay to reach out for professional help if you or someone you know is struggling.